My early years were spent growing up in a small, sleepy college town.  Children traveled in neighborhood packs and every Tuesday and Sunday my particular pack walked to and from the local church.  It wasn’t more than four or five blocks from my house but we thought the trip was immensely exciting because we got to venture off the tiny block where we all lived.

So all together in our pack, we would cross the road, walk down the sidewalk and turn left at the big mailbox.  Down the tree-lined street we would go, walking by the familiar houses with children’s toys strewn in the front lawn and well-known “grandmas” rocking on their front porches.  Everyone knew everyone and it was safe to travel the three blocks before we crossed the road again and arrived at the church.  After church we would, of course, retrace our steps with one small exception: we always stopped to wish at “the wishing foot”.

The wishing foot was actually a small foot-shaped stone that had become imbedded in the concrete when the sidewalk had been laid.  No one knew how long it had been there and no one knew how the legend of the wishing foot began, but none of us would ever miss a chance to stop and take our turn.  The stone was small so you had to place your foot over the wishing stone, pick up your other foot while balancing on one leg, and make your wish.  Naturally you closed your eyes and whispered your wish only to yourself – otherwise it wouldn’t come true.  Being very young, I wished to grow up to be Cinderella or at least to have a Fairy Godmother.  When I was older and more sophisticated, I wished for a dump truck or an electric train.  To this day I remember the excitement of taking my turn on the wishing foot and hoping with all my might that my wish would indeed come true.

Of course the wishing foot wasn’t just a silly children’s game or something to do on a lazy stroll home.  It’s really about the feeling of hope that all of us need in our lives in order to generate the energy that actually creates our dreams.  Even little children intuitively know the value of connecting with the feeling of hope deep within all of us.  It is hope that drives us to rise above the everyday mundane in our lives, to overcome the overwhelming, and to create more for ourselves, our families, and our communities.

It’s been a long time since my family and I moved away from that cozy neighborhood and the small stone we called “the wishing foot”.  But I’ve never forgotten the value of having dreams and have never lost the ability to connect with “hope”.  Whenever I’m feeling tired, overwhelmed, and at the end of my rope I just close my eyes and imagine myself, complete with pig-tails, taking my turn on the wishing foot.  I feel the excitement of a young girl’s dreams and belief that anything is possible if you only work hard enough and never let go of hope.  So when you’re feeling a little worn down, just find a spot to stand on one foot and image that you are standing on that wishing foot.  And then get ready to connect to the overwhelming power that only hope can bring!

When I was a very young girl I grew up in a small college town where everyone knew everyone.  We always hung out with the same pack of friends and everyone ended up at our house to plan our next adventure.

One summer day my friends and I were sitting on the front lawn loudly proclaiming that there was nothing to do.  We’d already played a vigorous game of tag and none of us were interested in going for yet another bike ride around the block.  So my Mom scraped together the loose change she had saved in her “mad money” jar and with a twinkle in her eye she suggested that we all walk down to the local diner for a donut.   Well, that was a pretty big, exciting trip for us!  We immediately set out on our mission to buy a gooey, yummy donut.

As we were walking along, each one envisioning which type of donut we’d pick out from the glass case, my sister wondered aloud how long my Mom had been saving nickels and pennies in her money jar.  I scrunched up my forehead and tried to think real hard, but I couldn’t remember a time when she hadn’t been saving coins in that glass jar.  And neither of us could remember a time that she had taken money out to spend.  We all had a good long “grown-up” talk (since we were old enough to walk to the diner we just knew we were grown-up) and decided that it really wasn’t right for us to use the money that my Mom had so carefully saved.

When we arrived at the diner we confidently strode up to the diner, each took a seat, and promptly ordered a round of ice waters.  The waitress didn’t act a bit surprised and served us just like we were the most important customers in the room.  We drank our ice waters, left a dime for a tip, and started back home knowing that my Mom would be so pleased that we hadn’t spent any of her money.

We arrived back home and proudly returned all of my Mom’s loose change, minus that big ten cent tip.  We were puzzled by her expression and she gently explained that when someone gives you a gift, even if that gift requires a sacrifice, that you show your love for them by accepting.  Often times as EBQs we’re so busy taking care of others and doing everything ourselves that we don’t allow them the opportunity to give to us.  Learning to accept is the flip side of giving; one really can’t exist without the other.  So take some time to slow down and let someone have the opportunity to give back to you.  Smile, cherish the moment and learn to accept just as graciously as you give!

When I was young, proper little girls took music and dance lessons to become proper young ladies.  So naturally my Mom enrolled me in dance class in the hopes that I would grow up to be a proper young lady some day.  I was 6 years-old and really hadn’t ventured much beyond my neighborhood so I was awed by the dance studio with its spacious room and wall to wall sparkling oversized mirrors.  The dance teacher, Miss Mombray, was encouraging and was assisted by two teenage girls who seemed so perfect in every way that I couldn’t decide which one I wanted to be most like when I grew up.

So there I was in dance class with my fat, pudgy cheeks and eyes that looked as big as saucers underneath my “of the moment” page-boy bangs.  I quickly picked up the steps and while I enjoyed the elegance of ballet, it was the energy and snappy movements of tap that I loved the most.  I clickety-clacked my way around the floor and couldn’t remember when I’d had more fun!

At the end of the year we prepared for the annual recital where all the little students would show off their newly acquired skills to a room full of proud parents.  My tap class was performing to “Lollipop” by the Chordettes and I couldn’t have been more excited.  The costume was a white leotard with tights and the Moms made tutu’s out of cotton-candy pink netting and cut a lollipop out of colored felt which was glued down the center of the leotard.

I practiced the steps of the dance every chance I got, but really struggled with the last move which was a cartwheel.  It was the pièce de résistance of the dance and it just wasn’t working for me.  I would spend what seemed like hours in my front yard practicing my cartwheel with my sister and friends.  I would tip over to the left, tip over to the right, or just not get my little legs up high enough to make it all the way around.  We would collapse on the grass from exhaustion, laughing hysterically at my attempts to master that cartwheel.

The big day finally came and I put on my costume complete with felt lollipop.  We went out to the front yard to snap some pictures, so I demonstrated my best shuffle-ball-change step and decided on a whim to attempt the cartwheel.  I smiled, pointed my little foot, raised my arms overhead, started to rotate around, and much to my surprise, executed the perfect lollipop cartwheel!  I couldn’t have been more excited and my Dad snapped the picture just as I landed on my feet with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen!

It’s been a long time since that day in my front yard and I can honestly say that I doubt that I could execute a cartwheel today.  But that day I learned the value of persistence, hard work, and a support network of good friends.  So next time you’re feeling a little overwhelmed or “stuck”, just smile, point yourself in the right direction, and start rotating towards your goal.  And you too will have executed the perfect lollipop cartwheel!

As a few of you may know, I’m taking this year to lose the gazillion (is that a real number?) pounds I’ve gained during the last several years.  You know how it goes – your schedule suddenly becomes overwhelmingly busy and your “meal planning” consists of deciding which drive through window has the least offensive fast food.  Well, I decided to get down to brass tacks (no, I’m not eating them!) and slowly lose those extra pounds this year.  I’m happy to say that I’ve experienced some success already and have dropped a size – which means NOTHING in my closet fits.  So this Sunday evening I had a few hours on my hands to pack up my “larger than I am clothes” for the charity truck.  Then, like the organized planner that I am, I got out my pencil and paper to make a list of the “must haves” in every EBQ wardrobe for my mega shopping trip this weekend!

Of course you’ve seen these “must have” lists in every single wardrobe planning book under the sun.    You know – basic trench coach (check), tailored black pants (check), 2 pair of good fitting jeans, one for flats and one for heels (check, check), classic white shirt… wait a minute.  What?  A WHITE SHIRT?  Nope… not gonna’ get that.  Scratch it off the list. 

Even though every fashion guru who’s ever worshipped in the tents at New York Fashion Week claims I need a white shirt, I’m not going to get one!  You see, I look hideous (pronounced HID-EEEE-OUS) in white.  I am naturally so pale that I look completely washed out – a little like someone making a permanent visit to the cemetery.  Through personal experience I’ve learned that I just don’t look good in white and no amount of bright lipstick and extra blush is going to change that.

Advice is helpful, but you’ve got to remember to really analyze and decide if it applies to you.  Don’t just swallow whole every bit of advice that people give you.  Learn to think for yourself.  Pick it apart in your own mind.  Ask yourself, “Based on my personal experience, what part of this advice makes sense and what part should I let go?”  There are blueprints for successful business ventures, diet programs, money management systems, career success; the list goes on and on.  It’s up to you to sift through the advice, keep what you like, tweak what would work with a little personal adjustment, and then just “pass” on the rest.  Yes, I do buy almost everything on those wardrobe “must have” checklists and its great advice; I just don’t do that white shirt thing.

So the next time someone’s giving you advice, don’t make an impulse decision based on their “expert” status.  Don’t assume that they always know you better than you know yourself.  Think it over, consider your situation – review your strengths and weaknesses – and really determine if it’s right for you or if it’s just another white shirt!

On my last post I talked about doing a project that requires you to use some personal creativity.  For my project I’m going to be sewing curtains for the front door of our home.  You see, Miss Bennett (my 7 pound Toy Poodle who thinks she’s a German Sheppard) loves to stand at the door on the tippy-top of her hind legs and bark at every single thing that puts a toe into what she thinks is her territory!  She’s really quite adamant about this whole “protection” thing (I don’t think she knows that she’s a TOY Poodle!) and it’s starting to drive us all nuts.  So I’m sewing beautiful sheer white curtains so she can’t see anything through the glass on the door or side window. 

I was probably around 6 years old when I first learned to sew.  My parents lived in a tiny little house in northern Utah where my Dad attended college and supported the family by working as an auto mechanic.  The “sewing room” consisted of a sewing machine squeezed between the gigantic furnace and noisy washing machine in our grey cement basement.  My mom taught me to sew by tracing straight lines on paper and then showing me how to guide the paper through the machine (there wasn’t any thread in the needle).  As I got the hang of it I moved up to doing squares and oversized circles to gain the skills necessary to guide the fabric correctly.  Then finally it was time for me to try sewing swirls on paper.  My mother carefully drew swirly lines that changed gracefully from one direction to the other and I had to feed the paper through the machine, continuing to follow the lines without breaking or stopping.  I was so excited when I could finally do swirls because I knew that meant I was ready to sew!

Since those humble beginnings I’ve graduated to a computerized sewing machine and sew in a fabulous space complete with a closet full of fancy tools.  I don’t often sew now, but in the past I’ve made created countless Halloween costumes, sewn all types of curtains and bedding, and in typical self-reliant EBQ fashion even sewed and hand-beaded my wedding gown.  But it really all started with those swirls – the basic skills necessary for every other creative skill that followed.

So when you’re working on your creative project don’t try to get all fancy right away.  It you haven’t used your creative skills for a while you may end up feeling overwhelmed and be tempted to give up.  Just relax and give yourself permission to start with the basics.  Using your personal creativity regularly will inspire you and give you the confidence to succeed in other areas of your life.  I suspect you’ll be surprised by how doing a creative project now and then will improve your confidence and ability to take on anything.  So when you’re feeling a little stuck and need some “positive YOU time”, just get out your EBQ project supplies and swirl!

Okay, so here we are almost half way through January and I know that you’re probably still thinking about those well-meaning New Years resolutions you made.  All those ideas that you organized neatly in your journal or scribbled on a scrap of paper and stuck to your bulletin board are testament to the fact that you really want this year to be even better than last year. 

So you made your list and then you sat down and did some serious goal setting.  You know the steps to goal setting – you’ve seen them a hundred times:

1. Write down your goal – be specific.

2. Break your goal down into small action steps.

3. Assign a deadline to each action step.

4. Tell someone about your goal and enlist their support.

5. Reward yourself when you achieve your goal.

You’ve heard it all before haven’t you?    You probably know them by heart by now.  But do you know the most important element to blast off and push yourself forward towards your goals? I’ll tell you what it is – it’s FAB fuel!

Before you try to improve, modify, or flat out change anything about yourself you’ve got to believe that you’re already pretty darn FABulous!  Notice I didn’t say “fabulous”, I said “FABulous!”  Put some emotion behind it EBQs!  Say it out loud, fling your arms wide open (but seriously, only if you’re in a room by yourself) and let it rip!  Write a FAB statement across your bathroom mirror in bright red lipstick or just put on some upbeat music and do your very best FAB dance! 

Getting to your goal starts with generating positive energy about where you’re at right now.  If you think you’re not “all that”, just turn on the TV and you’ll see tons of people who would love to be in your position.  Life isn’t perfect and some days are harder than others so make sure you’ve got a stash of FAB fuel to motivate yourself.  I keep a file of emails people have sent me to generate positive energy on days when I’m just not feelin’ it.  So stop what you’re doing right now and find a way to generate some FAB fuel.  Whether it’s out loud at the top of your lungs or just a list about some of the simple things you’ve already accomplished.  Just DO SOMETHING that highlights how FABulous you already are!

FAB fuel is a daily tank that needs to be filled if you’re going to get where your want to be.  So generate some FAB fuel everyday and don’t forget to do your very best “pageant wave” as you zoom by on your way to the finish line!

So here it is – welcome to my brand new blog!  What you’re looking at right now is a combination of amazingly connected Internet technologies (which I don’t really understand), the beautiful work of my talented graphic designer, and an idea that I started mulling over in my mind about 6 months ago.  And let’s be clear here, all of those things are shockingly important.  Without any one of those things, this blog wouldn’t be here and you would be going about your extraordinarily busy life trying to get everything done without breaking the speed of sound (careful, don’t hurt yourself!). 

But what’s really important is that not only did I have an idea, but I had the emotional courage to believe in myself and my abilities to make that idea a reality.  And here it is.  You’re looking at it right now.  I’ve created something from what was essentially… well I guess in reality, nothing.  You’re looking at something real that began as a vague idea that just kept coming back to pester me over and over.  I thought about it, looked at it from different angles, and then worked it until I knew it was ready. 

So yes, what you’re reading IS the result of amazing technology and the work of a very talented team of people.  But mostly it’s JUST AN IDEA, just like all YOUR IDEAS.  Like your idea that you can do something new this year.  Like your idea that you can achieve a goal that you’ve never been quite able to get to before.  Like your idea that deep down there really is someone amazingly special lurking underneath all of the commitments, errands, and time spent taking care of everyone and everything else. 

So here it is – my blog – my idea.  This blog is for all the people who have followed my newsletter and radio show and called and sent emails thanking me for helping them to achieve what seemed to be, at first, impossible.  Those kind notes and comments inspired me to create this blog from just an idea.

So if you’ve ever had an idea about something that just keeps coming back to you over and over again and you want to hang on to that idea like a kite string and see where it takes you, then this blog is for you.  And the best part is that without knowing it, you’ll be inspiring other Everyday Beauty Queens just like you!

Okay, this post is for all you sneaky little Everyday Beauty Queens who managed to find my blog before I even announced it!  You are all so smart and so fast that it’s almost impossible to stay one step ahead of you!  You single handedly prove that the old “dumb, but pretty” beauty queen stereotype is soooooo completely not true and that you are definitely a force to be reckoned with! 

So thanks so much for finding the blog (won’t you tell me how you did it?) and I hope you enjoy it’s formal “launch” (to be coming soon) with lots of information and inspiration to help you be fab, fab, fab each and every day!

Much love and admiration,

Valerie